The Flock
Pigeons were always suspicious. This one has a face, and the face is trying very hard.
The Flock sits on every wire in the city, at even spacing, heads turned toward whatever is happening. They are not eating. They have never been observed eating. They have been observed facing, which is a different activity and appears to be the whole job.
One of them is different. It has a human face, and the face is doing an impression of relaxation that it has clearly practised in a mirror it also owns.
> SUBJECT DID NOT LOOK AWAY
> SUBJECT IS STILL LOOKING
Fleet size
Not published. Counting the flock would require the flock to hold still, and it does, which makes the refusal interesting.
Range
Wherever there is a wire, a ledge or an open window. Especially the window.
Camera Eyes
Two lenses, mounted where eyes go, in a housing that is nearly the right shape.
Aperture
Open. It has been open since manufacture. Closing it is a firmware feature that shipped disabled.
Blinking
Simulated, occasionally, at intervals chosen by somebody who has read about blinking.
Eye contact
Held. And held. And held. Long past the point where a person would have looked at their shoes.
The little light
Red. Always on. Documented as a design accent, in a footnote, in a document nobody opened.
The Feed
Everything it sees goes somewhere. The somewhere has never been named on a slide.
Ask what it records and you get a diagram. Ask where the recording goes and you get a longer diagram. Ask who watches the recording and the bird tilts its head at exactly fifteen degrees, which internal documents refer to as the reassuring tilt.
Pigeons used to be paid in breadcrumbs. This one is paid in the breadcrumbs, which is the same word doing two very different jobs.
Retention
Indefinite, described as temporary, in a sentence built to survive being read aloud in a hearing.
Deletion
Available. The button exists. The button has been independently confirmed to exist.
Terms of Service
Agreed to by standing near the wire. Length: not disclosed. Revisions: continuous.
Clause one
By being visible, you consent to being visible. This was always true; now it is written down.
Clause two
The bird may perch. The bird may continue to perch. Perching does not constitute surveillance, per clause four.
Clause three
You may opt out at any time by going indoors, closing the curtains and remaining there.
Clause four
Clause four defines surveillance. Clause four is not included in this summary.
Status & Notices
Token
$ZUCKBIRD has not launched, so there is no contract address, pool or market to report. The token rows above read unavailable because nothing has been measured, not because a figure is still loading. The address will appear in this table first, and the buttons on this page go live at the same moment. An address quoted anywhere else before then did not come from here.
Satire
Mark Zuckerbird is a satirical character: a machine wearing a borrowed face. It is not affiliated with, endorsed by, sponsored by or connected to any real person or company, and nothing here is a statement by or about a real individual.
Privacy
The bird records everything; this page records nothing about you. It runs no analytics, sets no cookies and requests nothing from other hosts.
Risk
Nothing on this page is financial advice. A newly launched token can lose all of its value, so make your own assessment.
The Network
A wire only matters once something is perched on it. This one is being strung for two doors and a file.
The official X account and the Pump.fun listing will open from this page. The verified address of each is added here, to the channel strip and to the closing block, at the moment it exists. Sightings from the wire — the field reports in the Dossier — will be collected through the official account once it is open.
Until then this page is the reference copy, and the only address that counts is the one written on it.
Door one · X
Where the flock reports in. Opens at launch.
Door two · Pump.fun
The listing, when there is one.
The Dossier
Origin log, field reports and a glossary, open now in The Dossier — the part of the network that already exists.
Watch the wire
The official account and the listing are announced from this page first. Both doors are wired; each one opens the moment its verified address is added.